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These are just 4 of the 10 wonderful children in my SOS Family
Photo Credit: K.Lemon |
As an SOS mother in Sanakaroba, Mali, my heart breaks when I look into the eyes of a child who is so desperately in need of love that she just doesn’t know how to accept it… yet.
Such was the case with Abena*, who came to me so damaged from neglect and abuse at five years of age that she was not able to look directly into my eyes. She’d never had anyone’s undivided attention in her life, and she didn’t know what to do with it when I gave it to her.
And as much as I wanted to scoop her up into my arms, to hug her and care for her, I knew that I needed to move slowly with traumatized children like Abena. I learned this careful and respectful approach first during my 18-month training with SOS Children’s Villages, then as an “Auntie” for two years helping SOS mother Sisi.
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Sisi, who use to head the family, visits often. She is a much loved and respected SOS "grandmother".
Photo Credit: S. Houalet |
Sisi recently retired after 25 years as the head of her household. By then, I’d come to love Sisi’s children as my own. So when I became the head of the family in this SOS home, I was able to provide a loving continuity to the children.
A large portrait of Sisi still hangs proudly in our house, and she comes to visit every weekend as our family’s “grandmother.” She checks in to make sure I’m doing a good job and to answer any questions I might have. She also makes sure the children are doing their homework, cleaning their rooms and helping around the house.
The children adore her, and frankly, so do I. Sisi has been such a valuable resource for me in learning to become a good SOS mother! She taught me how to overcome that look of distrust in a child’s eyes with patience, love and perseverance.
I’m proud to uphold Sisi’s tradition of dedication to her family, which is truly the tradition of all SOS mothers worldwide! Together, we’re providing loving homes to over 78,000 children in SOS Villages around the world.
So as Mother’s Day approaches, I’d like to ask you to make a special gift to SOS Children’s Villages today, to support our work as SOS mothers. I can’t think of any work that could be more important than dedicating my life to orphaned and abandoned children.
When I finally see the love in a child’s eyes, after months of patient mothering, that moment is worth all of my effort and anxiety. The first time that Abena put her little arms around my neck and hugged me tight, I thought my heart would burst. I knew that she had finally begun to accept that someone would want to care for her.
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At first shy and afraid of others, Abena has grown to love and trust her SOS family
Photo: SOS Archives |
Gradually, Abena started to leave my side for a few minutes at a time to see what her siblings were doing. She began to play with them for longer stretches of time, and then with the other children in the Village.
One day, I heard a girl laughing across the yard. It was a laugh I didn’t recognize, and I know all of the children in our Village.
I’ll never forget that day. It was a sunny Tuesday morning when I looked across the playground and saw Abena, laughing right out loud as she chased after a ball. No wonder I didn’t recognize the laugh, I’d never heard Abena laugh before!
I stood very still and watched her, my heart beating fast in my chest. One of the other SOS mothers noticed me staring with a great big smile, and looked over at Abena.
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It's a busy life being an SOS Mother. But i'm sure you're heard the saying "it takes a village to raise a child" That's certainly true here, where we all help wathc over the SOS children in our care. Here I am with some of the other SOS mothers in our SOS Village, and with Kelsey Lemon, of SOS Children's Villages Canada who visited last year.
Phot Credit: K.Lemon |
Having listened to me talk of my challenges to earn the child’s trust over the past six months, she instantly understood. She came over to give me a hug of congratulations, and I burst into tears of happiness.
There is great camaraderie among the SOS mothers in my SOS Village, which is a wonderful thing. Our lives are not easy sometimes, and no one understands that better than another SOS mother.
Our houses are arranged in a cluster, and each house has its own area outside for cooking and laundry and other household chores. You may not know, but that’s the Mali way. This allows the SOS mothers to chat with each other as we work, and to keep an eye on our children, and each other’s children. In the middle there is a playground. There is also a large garden, where we grow bananas, and peanuts and all kinds of vegetables.
So much depends on us, because we are the main pillars in our houses. We are given a household budget, and must run the house to meet our financial responsibilities. My time is often short. I have to divide it among all my 10 children, Village meetings, and my household duties like cooking, cleaning, and laundry.
Some days, I find myself rushing back from the school, after talking to a teacher about a problem one of my children is having, to prepare the next meal.
It’s a busy life! But it’s not one that I would trade for anything – I belong to these children for the rest of their lives, and they to me.
We are a family. We share our views, our joys and our worries. We sit down as a family to find solutions and improvements to the way that we live together.
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As long as we are together
Photo Credit: B Neeleman |
As long as we’re together, I’ll make sure they come out all right. I want them to become independent people, good citizens who give something back to their country. I look forward to seeing them grow and start their own families, and bring their children back to visit me.
And one day, I will be a grandmother like Sisi, returning to see all my children, even when they don’t live here anymore. I’d like to know they are continuing the values that I’ve taught them, like the spirit of togetherness that pervades our house.
My wish is that all mothers around the world be appreciated for the way they nurture and protect their children, bringing the best out of them, and helping them to reach their true potential.
I’m so thankful that we SOS mothers are able to do that for the orphaned, neglected and abandoned children who come into our care. And generous souls like you make that possible!
The children will be coming home from school soon, so I must start preparing their dinner. But before I leave you, please let me ask you once more to consider sending a special gift today to support the work of SOS mothers like me. Your donation will enable us to feed our children, clothe them, give them medicine when they are sick, and make sure they get a good education.
It’s such important work. Please honour SOS mothers everywhere this Mother’s Day and make a generous gift to SOS Children’s Villages today. Thank you so much!
Sincerely yours,
Jameela Fofana
SOS Mother
SOS Children’s Village Sanakaroba, Mali
P.S. As an SOS mother, I’m so grateful to you for your past support for SOS Children’s Villages. Your donations made such a difference! Without you, SOS mothers like me simply wouldn’t be able to run a house, feed and clothe our children, and help them to get a good education. Your last gift made a difference. I hope today you will again make a gift to SOS Children’s Villages. You can help ensure that orphaned and abandoned children will receive a mother’s love and care. In honour of SOS mothers around the world, please renew your support today. Thank you for reading my story.
*The names of the SOS mothers and children have been changed to protect their privacy.