Regaining Trust After Neglect

Nella was born to a mentally ill mother who lived in foster care. She was gone a lot, sometimes for three weeks leaving Nella with the foster parent, who was an elderly widower.

Nella’s mother was not physically or emotionally equipped to raise her. And when she gave birth to a second child, the caregiver, who was ailing at the time, could no longer provide care or sustenance for the expanding household. To survive, Nella, 4, and her baby brother Fabrice* needed alternative care. 

In 2009, the two children moved into a new family in the SOS Children’s Village Cibitoke, Burundi. In this nurturing environment the children would grow up receiving the love and attention every child needs to blossom.

 “Nella was in poor health when she came. Her hair was brown, her cheeks, stomach and legs were swollen,” says Ruth, her SOS mother. “She was very weak. I started giving her nutritious food and before long Nella was showing signs of good health. She was also putting on weight.”

Though the physical transformation was visible, her emotional state did not change. Nella was an unhappy child. Lack of maternal connection since her birth had made her avoidant and passive.

“Nella found a few children in the house when she joined my family, but she never engaged them, she stayed quiet, never saying a word to anyone except her baby brother,” says Ruth. “She rarely spoke to me. She was not interested in making friends or even playing with other children. She just wanted to be alone.”

“In kindergarten Nella would walk out of class in the middle of an activity to play by herself,” says Kathy the village educator. “She would not respond whenever you spoke to her. And despite going for therapy, consistent parenting coupled with great support from the teachers and the adults around her, Nella never improved. She remained this way for three years.”

Nella crawls out of her shell

Upon joining primary school in 2013, the teachers started giving Nella individualised lessons using games. Her fear of trusting and relating with others gradually faded away. Nella began to identify what she wanted and who she was. Her academic performance improved and so did her interpersonal skills. Nella is now the top student in her class.

“French is my favourite subject. I struggle with math because I make a lot of errors when trying to solve a problem,” says Nella. “When I am not studying I enjoy cleaning my room or watching dramas on television with my SOS brothers and sisters. I also like dancing to Kirundi traditional songs on Friday afternoon in the cultural club.”

Nella is now enjoying a happy and stable home life, and in the process building new positive childhood memories and dreaming about the future.

 “I would like to be a teacher when I grow up. I want to pass the knowledge I have acquired to other children. I hope to have a good life and to become a productive person in the society.”

SOS Children`s Villages is able to take in children like Nella and her brother thanks to the support of Canadian child sponsors.  Sponsor a child today and ensure a happy childhood for a child in need.

*Names changed to protect the identity of the children.